Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

"I'm Going to Die"

deleted_user
deleted_user
Following my mother's passing in Sept., my father's condition has worsened. He suffered a heart attack last week and has been hospitalized. In the nursing home, he'd been saying for weeks, that he was "finished", a "dead man". But then, the words sounded like disgusted phrased coming from someone in a nursing home.

Today, in hospital, Dad simply looked at me and said, "I'm going to die." Of course, I told him we all will eventually - that he'd been sick and is getting better, etc. But he's talking about his life, had been sleeping alot until today. I'm wondering what's going on. I just needed to share this. I don't know if I will have lost both parents by the holidays. I wasn't close to my Dad since he didn't live with us - but this all changes things somewhat, doesn't it?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am praying for your father and I am so deeply sorry about your mother. Your father can pull through this. He could just be depressed and that's why he is sleeping. You are doing all you can do by being a good daughter and being by his side. He has around the clock care in the hospital and I am sure your visits are very important to him. I truly believe that he can pull through this, just help him stay positive. Study after study has shown the importance of a positive attitude in getting well, so the best way you can help him is to just be there. You have suffered so much loss already, I can not imagine what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you. (((HUGS)))
deleted_user
deleted_user
My mom was in a NH for the last 14 months of her life. She got very depressed. Every visit she told us she was going to die, and I think she gave up and just lost her will to live.
I am sorry you are going through this, as it puts an aweful load of guilt on the child. I know, I went through it, and it still bothers me. We kept mom home as long as we could, but she needed 24/7 care and there was only my sister and I. My sister has a life threatening illness of her own.
This type of thing happens time and again with older people, especially if they have lost their home and independence. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to try to let it roll off your back somehow. Otherwise you can drive yourself crazy or worse.
Sending huggs, Rainbowmama
deleted_user
deleted_user
When my Mom passed in 2004 Dad almost left me ,too. But there came a time when I just had to be a bitch and tell him that he COULDN"T leave and I wouldn't sit in the darkened hospital/nursing home room with him and loss my sanity. He has since lost the lower half of his right leg, his left big toe, and suffered thru breathing problems. Was on ventilator for 3 weeks in 05. Now he is in his own apt., has an electric wheel chair for around his small town, a van and trailer to haul his chair to the city for Dr appts and Walmart runs. He has told me several times that if I had not pushed him to go on he would be dead. I hope this helps you during this trying time. I do not want to cause you more grief, just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your Dad.
Take Care of yourself!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sweetie I can feel your heartache and pain. If he says he's going to go , maybe he knows its his time. If you do lose him, know that we are all here for you. Please keep us posted. Take care and i'm prayinfg for you all.
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