"Hello" Everyone!!Just feeling sad and 'Alone', missing my Brother, our weekends together, our phone calls, EVERY single thing about Him!! I can see him so "Plain" in my mind!! I can't believe I'll never see his smiling face again here on earth! I could be in a bad mood and he could always make me smile! There are 4 of us: Penny, Patrick, Pam and Paul, me being the oldest, Paul(the one who died) the youngest(28), I was 17 when he was born, my Mom had to work, I took care of Paul, I even potty trained him, it was like having my own kid but without all the pain of the birth, we were all(are) very CLOSE!! So this is just really killing me, I have mini-panic attacks(thats what I call them), I never know when it is coming, it really sucks!! I really can't afford therapy but think I'm gonna have to do something, I just can't get past this! And don't think I ever will. But I must learn to 'live' with it, and deal with it(so they say), I am fixing to be living by myself as my oldest child is moving out, he & his lil' family (my 1st. grandchild) have been living with me pretty much since my brother died, so that will be a "CHANGE" for me!!Don't knoww how it will go so I would greatly appreciate ALL the Prayers I can get!! I really feel 'Good & Comfortable' about this website, it really 'HELPS' me to come here, I tell everybody about it! "THANKYOU ALL" for letting me a part of this 'WONDERFUL' Community!!....Penny
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