
Bereavement Support Group
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deleted_user
I'm having alot of problems dealing with the loss of my mom/bestfriend. You see, i use to come here and stay at my moms house while she went to port clinton on vacation, i would watch her dog and the house till she got back, well now i live in her house.....the thing is, i didn't go to my moms showing or the funeral, I COULD NOT SEE HER THAT WAY. To this day i have not visited the cemetary. I sometimes wonder now that maybe i shouldve went to the showing/funeral, but i know i would have never made it through, i have major depression/anxiety/panic disorder, i don't even know if i had tried if i would have made it to the funeral, but now, i'm waiting for mom to get back from port clinton, eventho part of me knows she is gone, the other part is still waiting. Am i still waiting because i didn't actually see her gone? Did i make the right decision?
Thanks for any comments.
Thanks for any comments.
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You'll heal, in time, and for her, you have to take care of you. HUggs Rainbow
It is hard to let go.
Take care of yourself,and if you would like to chat, I'm here!
After everything that I went through, I'm still waiting. I keep thinking that she's going to come peeking into my livingroom, or she's going to call. In fact, just yesterday, I couldn't figure out why she hadn't called yet. I was even going to call my husband to see if he had heard from her yet. Sometimes the loss is going to seem more real to you than others. I know it's that way for me. There are times when it feels like she's just away on a trip or something...and other times...I feel overwhelming sadness because I know that I'm never going to hear her laugh again...she's never going to drive me crazy again.
We all have so much to deal with and go through. But we can do it by leaning on each other and being there for each other.
You can only make the choice that is right for you, it doesn't matter what anyone else does...its what you need to do and what you can handle.
Grief is not something that just disappears, its a slow walk towards learning a new way to live without our loved one... one day at a time, one breath at a time...very slowly we learn how to get through the days.
Love
Patricia
Be strong.
But no. I think you've come to terms with her not coming back. In your heart, you know it. You just miss her that much - that you're wishing for what you know is the impossible. No matter what the illness, how tired we might have been ourselves during the siege - no matter how much we may say they're not suffering anymore - we wish they were in the next room like before...I do. I keep looking in Mom's room picturing where her hospital bed was, knowing it won't be in there when I look. And I attended her wake/funeral. Even though I planned it all, and was present for it all, the funeral was a fiasco, and I had to leave her behind, unburied. It was taken out of my hands.
But you made a choice. I'm wondering if you've found that you're sorry you didn't go, are still resigned to your original decision - or maybe just worried about what others thought? If you're worried about others, please don't. You did what you felt you had to do.
Let's just hope both our Moms will be back - in spirit - sometime soon, if not already.
My sincerest condolences.
And it would be normal for you to feel like you are still waiting for her, anyway. That is part of the initial stage of grief, shock and denial, disbelief.
I also feel part of me gets it, and part doesn't, and it's been 2 years for me, since I lost my son. Although I am slowly getting through it, and coming back together again.
As long as you're making progress, you are on the right track. If you feel "stuck" and can't move on in a reasonable amount of time, and you need plenty of time, you may benefit from grief therapy and/or meds to help you get through.
My deepest sympathies go out to u hrtnsoul.