My mother passed away in October, I guess i was living in a semi denial state for the past two and 1/2 months. The reality of it all is kicking in big time now with the holidays and all coming. I find myself avoiding my friends and family, i can't focus on anything worth focusing on, I aam in nursing school however i am completely over the whole keep my mind busy thing. The first thing i do when i wake up is have a cig and cry like a baby. This is not me i don't show emotions very well. I feel as though i am a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off at the most inappropiate time. At my job i work with the elderly doing activities so you have to constantly put on this front and smile and laugh and convince them about how wonderful life is and how well i am handling the death of my mother , when all i want to do is crawl under a rock and hide. so i guess i am open to any suggestions on how to possible deal with or handle the fact that the one person in the world i can always count on and turn to is the one person i will never see again. I am spiraling out of control and as much as it kills me to admit it...... I need help.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...