I'm 23, 7 weeks ago, suddenly with no warning whatsoever, my dad was taken from me, he was just 48 years old. Im struggling to cope with his death and i haven't quite let myself accept that hes gone forever, i feel like if i let him go then ill lose him forever. I took 3 weeks off work, and now im back, its a struggle going as i work mostly 13 hour shifts. I feel as if no one understands what im going through, they haven't gone through it themselves so they struggle to comprehend my feelings and actions. Im scared ill lose someone else close to me and have trouble sleeping at night, when i do sleep i have bad dreams where people i love have died. Im dreading Christmas, a season my dad was fond of. when i try talking about my dad, i feel like no one is really listening nor do they want to listen. I know that im grieving and i have been reading up on it but i want people to understand that im going through this and i cant go back to normal like they can, nothing seems normal to me anymore, i don't feel like myself anymore. My life is never going to be the same without my dad, we were very close. Its like ive lost a big part of myself. Im struggling to find a way to live a life without him.I don't want to lose his presence altogether, if i accept hes gone then i wont have him with me anymore, im scared ill lose every aspect of him if i accept his death . How do i go on without someone whose always been a major part of my life?
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