Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
Hello. I joined this community in hopes to find friends who can help me deal with the loss of my dad. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in early September. Mid-September we found out it had spread to several other places in his body (brain, skull, adrenal glands, trachea, etc.). In late September he broke his arm and they admitted him to the hospital for pain control because there was nothing the could really do for him due the a spot of cancer on his bone where it had broken. He was released from the hospital the first of October and stayed with my brother and his family. He had a visiting hospice nurse 2-3 times per week. When he was diagnosed they gave him 6 months to live. I had a hard enough time dealing with the thought of losing my dad in 6 months. My dad passed away on October 11th. The funeral was held on October 15th (my birthday). At the viewing I held myself together and greeted everyone and talked to people that were there. At the funeral I tried so hard to hold myself together, as my 9 year old was present. I just couldn't do it. I was a mess. However, since the funeral I have hardly cried. I don't understand this because I was a true daddys girl. it just doesn't seem real yet. It doesn't seem like he is gone, I mean, I know he is but its like I'm in a bad dream that I just haven't woken from. From reading thru this community I now see that I am not alone in feeling this way.
deleted_user
Oh my god... that is something I never expected when I came here. You and I are living parallel lives right now. They diagnosed my dad with lung cancer on Sept 11th after taking him to the hospital a week before due to having an infected pancreas, and they said he had 3-6 months, but with all the other complications he had, like the pancreatitis and a cyst on his gall bladder, they couldn't do any type of chemo or radiation to try and help, but then they found out that the cancer had spread to his liver and said he won't have too long... we still thought it would be longer, so we sent him to a Hospice Center to live out the rest of his life in comfort. My mom had decided to move in with him (they have those kind of accomodations), and I was scared to stay at home by myself, so I decided to temporarily move in with my boyfriend and his family. But, then, Oct 13th at around 2:30 am, shortly after bringing my stuff into Steven's house, my mom called and said three words: "He's gone, baby" and my life changed... but like you said as well, it doesn't feel real. We had his memorial service on the 20th (he was cremated, so no funeral) and ever since then I've felt.... blank. I have anxiety attacks... well, I've had them for almost a month now, actually.... i was away from work for three weeks, in fact this is my first day back to work since Oct 3rd when we decided to make arrangements for hospice. And there are times where I feel like it feels normal that he's not here, and then it hits me that he's never going to be here again... he was my best friend. I know what you mean, I really don't cry and I really don't get upset. I just keep living my life like nothing is wrong. It doesn't feel right to be acting like this, and it makes me nervous. I loved him so much, but at the same time I'm very happy for him that he's finally with God, and that he's no longer in pain... see, he was in chronic pain for 18 years to begin with. But that's another story. This is your discussion... I hope that you and I can talk about this together sometime. I want to be there for you and I hope you can be there for me, since we both have a lot of healing to do and a lot of sorting out of emotions we obviously don't know how to handle just yet.
deleted_user
i am so sorry for your loss. everyone grieve's differently and in their own time frame. we are all here for you. hugs jan
deleted_user
My grief has been very private. I've manage to shed my tears during the sleepness nights. During the day I tell myself to be strong and keep going. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to grieve, it's mostly what works for you. My dh was gone alot (work) during the 30 years, so in a way I keep thinking it's not real, he'll be home soon. Reality is that I have to learn how to go on without him, journaling has helped, along with the routine of life. Hugs to you, Liz
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
