Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

Never got to say goodbye

deleted_user
deleted_user
I lost my nana to cancer just over 7 years ago.
I lived with her for over a year while she was sick so she wasnt on her own she had cancer and it spread all over.
I miss her like mad i just feel so guilty as i didnt see her for 2 wks b4 she died, when i wanted to see her i was too late. I never got the chance to tell her how much i loved her and i never got the chance to say goodbye!which now makes me feel guilty!

I think part of me thought she wasnt going to die and that she would get better i was only 13.
I had a tough year with other things that had happened.

I cryed for hours after my mom told me.
I went to her funeral i cryed in the church then at the wake i was there for bout half an hour then i left! I should have stayed i know,
That was the last time i can remember crying.

I am so selfish somtimes when i think of her ill be thinking why do u leave me without saying goodbye? Why did u have to go i needed you?
No one really talks bout her its like they have forgot all bout her. So i got a tattoo with her name on and made sure i showed all the family to remind them about her and that i havnt forgot her and niether should them!

This is the first time i have spoke bout it. I dont think that i have gieved properly but i dont know how to ?
I know that i need to i have started to get help with other things and i thought to my self that i need to deal with this too.

Does anyone know what is the right way and how to grieve over the loss of my nana?

Hey dont know if u can read nana but if ur reading this just want u to know how much i love u, miss u and sorry for letting u down xxx
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry about your Nana. I don't ever say goodbye, because I don't believe they ever really leave us. I always say "see you on the other side."
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry for your loss, and your feelings of regret for not having said good-bye.
As far as grieving is concerned, it is different for everyone, but if you want to find out maore about the stages of grief, or read articles to help you cope and get answers, type "Stages of Grief" into a browser window and you will find many links to wonderful , helpful sites.
Sending huss to your tender heart, Rainbow
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry about your loss, but you can't keep feeling sorry for yourself.You Grand mother is always with you, in your Heart. You carry her with you everyday. She is not worried about the fact you was not there, she is happy and is in a better place with GOD. So stop feeling guilty just pray and hope to see her again oneday. I loss my Grandmother in 2005 and every day I miss her more, but I know she is better off because she don't have to suffer anymore. God knows your heart he knows you did all you could do. Some times we wish we could have done more but just focus and be gratefull that you was there for her. Your nana will always be with you. Stay strong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
See a therapist if you can't talk to your family or friends about it. My little brother drowned and I was only 100 feet away and didn't hear or see him. I could live the rest of my life blaming myself, but is that really living life? Just do everything in your power to make yourself better and know that when you do good things you are making your nana proud and you are honoring her memory. Do Cancer walks and channel your grief into positive action. Feeling bad for yourself doesn't help anyone, especially you
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am sorry that you have lost your Nana she was obviously very important in your life. You will see her again and she does hear you when you talk to her so talk to her all the time. She will listen and be there for you, you just can't see her. I lost my husband this year and I didnt get to say goodby either so I know how hard that is. I am sure that your family have not forgot they just don't know how to talk to you about it, maybe they think that they will upset you and they don't want to cause you any more pain than you are already in. Take Care and be my friend
deleted_user
deleted_user
I never got to say goodbye to my mom. She lived with me and the night before she died, we ate dinner as usual, talked and we then went to watch tv. she went into her room and my sister called her at 8pm and she was fine. The nest morning I went to get her and she was gone. It was so unexpected that If I had know the night before I would have hugged her and said I loved her. I am in grief counceling for guilt feelings and other issues regarding my moms death. It seems to help a little
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey thanks u guys! Im sorry to here about your losses! I am in councelling atm for other things. X thanks X
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was due to see my Nan the day before she died, but my uncle never took me, I had a phone call the next morning telling me to go to the care home (my nan had altzhimmers she had lived with us for other 2 years) I went with a friend as my uncle was already there and my mum was in africa on holiday.
When I went to the care home I was told to wait for the manager, at that point my uncle come down from her room and told me she was dead. I was then asked if I wanted to see her. I went up in a state of shock to where her body lay. And just clapsed. My Nan didnt even know who I was at the end so I refuse to feel guilty. You shouldnt feel guilt you looked after here when she needed it.
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