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Quick background -hubby and I have been thru a lot. We moved in to help his dad after he was diagnosed w/stage IV colon cancer about a yr and a half ago (w/our 4 month old at the time). It was a struggle and he went downhill fast. He lost his battle in April of this year. The last few months are indescribable. Knowing someone is going to die does not help accept the loss any better. Hubby was there when he took his last breath and he says that is the hardest for him. He loves his dad more than anything and we are still living in his home. We bought out the other sibblings but the memories are just too hard for him at times I think. They are for me even.
He is so depressed and I don't see it getting any better. It seems worse. He's on meds which helped some at first but he's really quiet and somber most of the time and he won't share w/me his feelings. I keep telling him I'm there for him but feel I'm really not helping him and don't know what to do.
I don't think he's accepted the reality that he's gone forever. I think he's angry and mad and questions everything b/c it's not fair that he's gone. He so wanted to see his grandson grow up. I'm so sad that he's not there!
I just feel unable to help him thru this horrible time. Anyone know anything I can do/say/anything?? Thanks.
He is so depressed and I don't see it getting any better. It seems worse. He's on meds which helped some at first but he's really quiet and somber most of the time and he won't share w/me his feelings. I keep telling him I'm there for him but feel I'm really not helping him and don't know what to do.
I don't think he's accepted the reality that he's gone forever. I think he's angry and mad and questions everything b/c it's not fair that he's gone. He so wanted to see his grandson grow up. I'm so sad that he's not there!
I just feel unable to help him thru this horrible time. Anyone know anything I can do/say/anything?? Thanks.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
But, when my mom passed suddenly from a heart attack. I took it really hard. He didnt know or understand how to talk to me. He did make the cardinal mistake of saying "get over it." Whatever you do ..dont take that route. Each of us are doing the best we can. I tell him I take it one day at a time. Then there are days that I have to take it minute by minute. I dont share my pain with him. Not because I dont think he'll understand but, more because I guess this pain is so hard that I dont want to expose him to it. I pretend to be ok for the sake of my family.
I pray that somehow you and your family will continue to take things as they come. It's hard to be the one asking are you ok but, it's just as hard to be asked are you ok.
I give him hugs and kisses but try not to overdo it, but I dunno ....I'm clueless b/c I know how I feel about the loss of our baby and it seems nobody can help ME -I cry alone and just deal w/the pain so i just don't know.
It's hard to see him suffering though.