I found this site today and I need some support. I lost my mother on Dec3/07. Mom fought heart disease, diabetes and breast cancer. She was sick off and on for a long time but this Dec her big heart was just too full of love and got tired. I watch Mom go through some terrible things before she passed. I cant get them out of my head. In the end though she passed peacefully looking into my eyes and she even managed to squeeze my hand. I did tell Mom everything I wanted to tell her but it didn't really help. I miss her so much. My heart hurts,my head hurts, I am lost, confused, numb, and in soooo much pain. I lost a part of me a big part of me and feel so very very empty. My mom was my bestfriend. She was the one who understood my chronic pain, my life, me. I find myself picking up the phone to call her still. I really am not doing so good. I cant eat sleep the pain is too much. Somedays I don't want to get out of bed some days I just want to be with her. I would do anyting to have her back for a day, a minute, just one more hug. The holidays were spent going through the motions of it and that is about it. I had to go through all of her stuff and pack it away. Then came my birthday...Then New Years. The first without her. I miss her so much and dont think that it is fair such a wonderful person left so young at age 67. I will never forget the power of Mom's love, being in a coma for days and at the end she opened her eyes looked around the room at each and everyone of us then she looked a me as I held her hand and talked with her telling her it was ok to go she had fought her fight and now it was time for her to rest. I told her to look for her friends and family and go be with them we would meet up later. It has taken me awhile now but I have broke and can't seem to get up. The shock is over and the reality has kicked me in the but and I don't know what to do.
Thanks for listening,
Thanks for listening,
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...