I found this site today and I need some support. I lost my mother on Dec3/07. Mom fought heart disease, diabetes and breast cancer. She was sick off and on for a long time but this Dec her big heart was just too full of love and got tired. I watch Mom go through some terrible things before she passed. I cant get them out of my head. In the end though she passed peacefully looking into my eyes and she even managed to squeeze my hand. I did tell Mom everything I wanted to tell her but it didn't really help. I miss her so much. My heart hurts,my head hurts, I am lost, confused, numb, and in soooo much pain. I lost a part of me a big part of me and feel so very very empty. My mom was my bestfriend. She was the one who understood my chronic pain, my life, me. I find myself picking up the phone to call her still. I really am not doing so good. I cant eat sleep the pain is too much. Somedays I don't want to get out of bed some days I just want to be with her. I would do anyting to have her back for a day, a minute, just one more hug. The holidays were spent going through the motions of it and that is about it. I had to go through all of her stuff and pack it away. Then came my birthday...Then New Years. The first without her. I miss her so much and dont think that it is fair such a wonderful person left so young at age 67. I will never forget the power of Mom's love, being in a coma for days and at the end she opened her eyes looked around the room at each and everyone of us then she looked a me as I held her hand and talked with her telling her it was ok to go she had fought her fight and now it was time for her to rest. I told her to look for her friends and family and go be with them we would meet up later. It has taken me awhile now but I have broke and can't seem to get up. The shock is over and the reality has kicked me in the but and I don't know what to do.
Thanks for listening,
Thanks for listening,
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