As you know from my profile, I just recently lost my daughter. I was only 5 months and 4 days pregnant with her. Her name is Emilea (Emily). I love and miss her so much that sometimes I can't breath. I feel so lost without her. Even though she wasn't full term and was stillborn, I know her. I remember the first temper tantrum she threw while still in my womb. How she always gave me hick ups and loved fruit. She died the day after my 40th birthday. I had no idea the first time I felt her kick me was the last. I spent over 2 weeks in the hospital trying to save her. She was all I had. Her father was and still isnt there. He wants to call me and talk about him and his other child but never about me and Emilea. I had dialated early which caused an infection and would have killed me. God and Emilea knew this. I am very blessed that if it had to happen it happened the way it did. God took my daughter very gently and gave me no pain when I gave birth to her. That I am thankful for. I feel so lost and so alone. I am the only one who has looked at her pictures. I had her creamated so she could be at home with me. I couldnt bare the thought of her being somewhere in the cold ground alone. She should be at home with her mommy..ME. I love my daughter and always will. I just need to know that I'm not alone. So if anyone has any advise or has been through the same thing please respond. I refuse to give up on my life because I refuse to let my daughter down. She gave her life to save mine.
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