About 18 years ago a virus attacked my daddy's heart.. causing atria-fribulation, his heart would jump in and out of rhythem until one day it jumped and never got back in. A few years later he was told he had COPD a lung disease. They put him on all kinds of medicine , the last few years breathing for my daddy was such a hard job to do, he stryggled everyday of his life, he would go twice a year and get his lungs cleaned out, and he would feel better. He had the strongest will to live that I have ever seen. My daddy was a Christian man, who lived by faith, he was a deacon in the church , taught sunday school for 35 years, He was a man of GOD. HE went to the Dr. may 17th and had a touch of pneumonia in his right lung, was finally moved to a better hospital in a neighboring town, was put in ICU, for a while, they called the family in one night, BUT he pulled through, a few days later, he was in a room, a few days later he was having so much difficutly breathing, we lkie to have lost him in the room, so then he went to CCU, where he was put on the ventilater supposedly for a few days to let him rest.. then the feeding tube came, then his intestines rejecting that stuff, his kidneys started shutting down also, we knew then that he wasn't gonna make it, He could not talk due to the ventilater, but they decreased his sedative for a short time so he could respond to us a little, we told him over and over again how much we loved him..when he was responding, my momma said I love you.. if you love me squeeze my hand.. and he squeezed it, I asked him the same question and he squeezed my hand, I needed to hear that of feel his love and my momma sure needed it so bad, they have been married 51 years. My daddy left so many memories and all of them were wonderful ones.HE loved everybody and everybody loved my daddy. he was a special man. We accounted for almost 900 people that came to the funeral home for visitation, they were lined up out side for hours, what a great feeling that was. I don't wish himback because of his health, I just want him back so I can be with him again, he was my ROCK!! HE always had all the right answers. We are such a close family, we were always hugging and telling each other we loved each other everyday.. I will never hear him say those words again..that hurts so deep.. I just want to tell him one more time I just want to touch him one more time, I just was want to kiss and hug him one more time.. Oh Lord help me.. I don't know what to do. I just want him to answer the phone when I call their house, I just want him to drive me to the Dr. I feel like a part of me died with him. I just loved him so much. What I need so bad is words of encouragement, and reassurance that I am gonna be o.k. that my 2 sisters are gonna be o.k. that my momma is gonna be o.k., that daddy's 3 son-in-laws are gonna be o.k. and the 7 grandkids and 3 great grandkids are gonna be o.k. I feel like I am dying inside, I cannot stop crying.. he always called us girls pumpkin. I just niss him so much, it don't even seem real.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...