I CAN VERBALLY SAY MY DADDY DIED BUT IN MY MIND AND HEART I'M EMPTY. I'VE TRIED TO WATCH VIDEO'S OF HIM TO HELP ME GRIEVE BUT ITS LIKE MY BRAIN IS STUCK OR WON'T ACCEPT IT. I WEAR HIS SHIRTS TO BED BUT ITS AS IF ITS NOT REAL AND I'M WAITING FOR HIM TO COME BACK. I KNOW MY DADDY IS IN HEAVEN CAUSE I KNOW HE WAS SAVED. I SHOULD BE REJOICING FOR HIM CAUSE HE'S FREE AND WHERE I WANT TO BE, YET I SEEM TO BE STUCK. CAN'T CRY , PUSH THOUGHTS OF HIM AWAY. WHAT AM I DOING? AND WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO GET PASSED THIS STUCK PART. I FEEL LIKE I'M DENYING HIS EXISTANCE AND HURTING HIM SOME HOW. I AM BI POLAR, CHRONIC DEPRESSIVE AND BORDERLINE PERSONALITY AND THIS IS NOT HELPING ME ONE BIT.
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