i want to be able to move on in my life and im at a total loss of how to get my thoughts to stray away from the very dark ones. since i lost my dad last year i havent dealt with it at all. in fact for the first 9 months i didnt even think about it i just pretended i guess you could say to get over it and just try to put on a strong attitude and move on. but now i look at myself and i feel like im falling apart i just cant stop thinking about the day i went to the hospital and it was over for him. and i keep having dreams about him dreams where he tells me to let him go and i just cant. i really want to move on and just live and make him proud but i just keep feeling a overwhelming feeling of sadness
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