I was with my boyfriend(TC) for a year and a half. He passed away Feb 21 2006. Now some people may not think that that is a long time to be with someone, but for me it was. I have alot of relationship related issues, like trust. But he was able to break through all that and get close to me, and I was deeply in love with him. He had a very serious relationship. We lived together and the day before his accident, we had decided to buy a house together. We both knew that we would get married and grow old togehter, but he wanted to wait till I was out of college. Before I met him I had alot of depression relvoing around me being afraid I was going to be alone forever. Well after having a wonderful relationship with such great love, I don't want to live the rest of my life without that. I am only 20! Now I know that I am not ready to jump into a serious relationship, but around christmas time I had sex twice with a guy I work with. I'm still not sure excetly how I feel about it. I did it becuase I wanted to feel something besides pain. I don't regret what I did, becuase it was someting that I really thought about doing first, but I did get what I was looking for. I'm a very lonely person and I hate it. TC was not just my boyfriend, he was my best friend. We did everything together. I didn't have alot of other friends before I met him so he took that key role of friendship in my life, so now I have no boyfriend and I don't have my best friend. I have to wonderful friends that are like my best friends but its not the same. I don't see them all the time and they are a couple so it's kinda like I'm always the third wheel even though they are very good at making me not fell like one. So I guess my question is how soon is to soon for moving on and how long should I wait? I know everyone is different and it's more of just when you are ready, but I still wanted to ask. Cause I feel still like I'm kinda cheating when I think about dating again. Is that normal? How do I get over that feeling? Thanks
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