Bereavement Support Group
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I believe many Mothers and Daughters have a very special bond. My Mom (my everything) just passed away Oct. 19. She was visiting my home in Philly and had just arrived less than 8 hours earlier by plane with my Dad. She died while babysitting her grandson, she had a heart attack. I am riddled with guilt over this because she told my Dad she felt funny but I did not know. She was my best friend and the best NaNa to my son (her "Bumpers") I spoke to her every day by phone sometimes for 2-3 hours and called her every night before sleep. I would report every activity of my son to her and she delighted in his every accomplishment.
I called her while i fed him, while I was in the grocery store, after Mommy n me class, etc. etc.. He is 11 months old. She was in the delivery room when he was born and she called that day and my birthday "our day." It was the most special day of our lives. Now my son turns one Dec. 2 and she will not be there to celebrate. She loved Christmas and always went all out. December was also her Birthdya and my paretns anniversary. This year would have been so special for my son. I am dying inside and can not imagine being a Mother without her guidance.
I miss our daily conversations, the gift boxes that she would mail for Kenton and I and we would "Open together" over the phone. I am deeply distraught, crying constantly and severely depressed. I only calm down to become "numb" or live in denial. I have a father and brothers but I miss my only family female companion. My brothers are no help. They never called her while she was alive and they don't call me and yell at me when I call to cry. They are twins and only need each other. She was my soul mate. How do you move on when you are a daughter without a mother? It has changed my entire identity as I saw myself through her eyes as someone special. She brought sweetness to my life. That is gone. How do you go on? Sorry so long, I, like everyone here, am so destroyed, i just had to get it out. Please help.
I called her while i fed him, while I was in the grocery store, after Mommy n me class, etc. etc.. He is 11 months old. She was in the delivery room when he was born and she called that day and my birthday "our day." It was the most special day of our lives. Now my son turns one Dec. 2 and she will not be there to celebrate. She loved Christmas and always went all out. December was also her Birthdya and my paretns anniversary. This year would have been so special for my son. I am dying inside and can not imagine being a Mother without her guidance.
I miss our daily conversations, the gift boxes that she would mail for Kenton and I and we would "Open together" over the phone. I am deeply distraught, crying constantly and severely depressed. I only calm down to become "numb" or live in denial. I have a father and brothers but I miss my only family female companion. My brothers are no help. They never called her while she was alive and they don't call me and yell at me when I call to cry. They are twins and only need each other. She was my soul mate. How do you move on when you are a daughter without a mother? It has changed my entire identity as I saw myself through her eyes as someone special. She brought sweetness to my life. That is gone. How do you go on? Sorry so long, I, like everyone here, am so destroyed, i just had to get it out. Please help.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Just because she's passed, please remember she's not gone. You're a part of her. She's in your heart. You can still talk to her. I know that feeling though of thinking, I need to call mom and tell her, whatever and even dialing the phone.
The broken heart that you feel right now, will mend with time. It will never be the same, but you will go on and find ways to celebrate and honor her. She must have been one terrific lady and I'm sure she raised a very strong wonderful daughter. Please remember that!
(((Hugs)))
Thoughts go out to you all from me...as i know what the pain feels like.
Love
'sensitivesoul'
xxx
Now, how the hell did i go on, I have no clue. I still struggle with it everyday but i know i have moved on a lil bit. Its gets easier as time passes because you become to except the fact that she is really gone. But you know in your heart that she is there. My deepest sympathy
We were so close and I want to call her so badly and hear her voice. The hardest part of this is that I have a month old son and a 7-moth old neice who will never really know her, and she loved them so much and loved being a grandmother. I just isn't f*^king fair. My mother took such good care of herself and didn't take her health for granted, both of her parents lived well into their nineties. I thought I would have my mother for at least another 20 years, I juts don't know how I will ever be able to go on, I miss her so much it hurts, This is a night mare and I wish I would just wake up.
Holly, I feel your pain. I feel like it's not real and I see that hospital in my mind over and over again.
Now, I just try real hard to let her ~smile~ be my umbrella. It doesn't always work, as I wish she was here with me. But, sometimes I just know she's not in pain anymore. I hope that made sense.
xoxo