I am a mother of three beautiful children. Losing my husband and their father was bar none the hardest thing I've ever survived. It was 2 years ago and the suffering continues. We are doing fine together, but as the process continues, it seems that I've also lost all of my close friends that I had before Mike died. I keep going through this abandonment, grieving, anger, sadness cycle over and over. When does it end? I keep trying to hang on to these relationships because I hate to feel alone, but it seems now unhealthy for me.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...