I joined DS because my husband had an accident and I needed others who have been through the loss of a spouse. My son has carried the guilt that he caused the accident. We all thought he was doing so much better and sat. night he shot and killed himself. My daughter in law called me just before 12 am and said he was threatening suicide and told her to get the baby and get out or he would kill them first. She got in her car and called me. As she was sitting there she told me that he had come out the door with the shotgun. I told her to leave, just drive away. I was half way there. I called him and he told me that he was tired of people making him feel like shit and he was tired of Tasha (his wife) and tired of me and that he was the reason his dad died. I told him that it wasn't his fault that it was an accident (you see he started cutting the tree and pinched his saw. His dad went to "fix" it and the tree fell on him) then his phone went dead. I tried and tried to call back but no answer. When I got there I stepped out of my truck and heard the fatal shot. Apparently, he had already shot the house up. I wasn't sure at that point if he was shooting at me to keep me away or if it was inside or outside. I called 911. They came and broke the door down but he was already gone. I was told it was quick if that's any solace. I'm just not sure of where to go from here. I haven't gotten over my husband yet and then this. I just need someone to tell me what now?
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Little background of me and my situation. I met my now ex when we were 19 and in college. I had a 6 mo old child that the father was not involved with. We started talking and I fell in love with him and he loved my daughter like she was his. Once we graduated my daughter and I moved to where he was from, which was several hours away from my family. We married, he legally adopted my daughter and...
Ugh when you try to makes changes, and it's not working. This is the lowest I've ever felt. I dont even wanna get out of bed anymore. So tired of feeling this way. I just wish it would all go away. :(