I am trying to wrap my head around what has happened. I am just trying to make some sense out of this. I have a close relationship to God. But I lost my brother in a motorcycle accident, it wasn't hit fault. A series of mistakes caused the accident. Of course everyone is telling me I have to sue. It was the fault of others, just carelessness on their part. But it seems that the only way I can accept it is if I just say; It was God's will. God planned this to happen. It was his time. The trouble is, I don't feel that way. I feel that this is just some mistake, some misunderstanding. It's a nightmare that I'll wake up from, or that I don't know that it just wasn't his time, he was 36. He had so many plans. I mean I was there in the hospital for 18 hours straight, I saw him, I held him, I washed him off. I was there when he was pronounced dead, I made the arrangements, I saw all this with my own eyes. Why can't I believe this? He should just be coming in the door any minute. I can't shake the feeling that he belongs here. The accident was caused by a series of careless mistakes. But he could not had died without God's agreement, right? If God had not wanted this to happen it could not have happenned, right? I just don't feel like God "ordered" this. Can someone help me straighten this out in my mind?
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