My name is Therese. His name is Vince and we had 3 wonderful yrs together. He went into the hospital with pnemonia and ended up having Pulminary Fibrosis. I ended up having to make the decision to turn off life support, which was the most horrible thing to do. I had his hand as he left me. Never in a million yrs would I think something like this would happen to me, We were looking at engagment rings in Aug and planned on getting married next fall when i finished school. This man made me a better person but Im so angry. Im still waiting for him to call on the phone or something. I feel like a part of my soul has been destroyed. I cant imagine moving on with my life w/o him. He dies on Sept 23rd and its been 3 weeks and I put on one of his tshirts the other night and it still smells like him. Im in school and its so hard to focus, I have no energy, im finacially in a mess. Feels like theres no way out of this. Im 37 and he was 55 and I never wanted to have kids but he wanted to have one with me. After about 2 yrs I said ok next yr. Wish I would of this year. I keep re-living that last day over and over. The specialist saying he wouldnt come back from this, the dr saying we should just give him lots of morphine and turn the machines off. And when we did do that I was holding his limp hand and when they pulled the tubes out of his mouth his hand slightly squeezed mine. Id like to think he knew I was there with him. It took about 8 minutes of him struggeling to breath till he finally stopped. Thats all I think about, over and over. And I dread the holidays....I even dread waking up tomorrow. Everyone says time will heal all wounds....but what if the wounds r too deep?
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