Okay, I am new here and this is new for me. I recently lost my mother on Nov 10, 2007 due to a medical mistake. She was only 64 years old. I thought I was doing okay until Christmas came as this was her favorite holiday. Since then I have been preoccupied with angry thoughts about the mistake and how that she is not here anymore. I don't have children yet and it really bugs me to think that she won't be around to help me or that my future children won't get to know their grandmother. I am also in grad school and it is really hard to concentrate on school, go through the motions and don't want to do anything. My mother was really happy when I was accepted to the program and would want me to finish. I have picked up old habits of smoking and overeating. I recently lost 36 pounds and gained back 14 I know that I am overeating but I can't stop. I can't stop thinking about her and how I really miss her so much it just really really hurts so much. I know other people who lost someone close say 6 months to 1 year it gets better but I just don't see how it will get better. I don't see it ever getting better. Thanks for reading my ramblings.
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