I lost my brother June 8th of this year... Its been really hard for me to get over the fact that he is gone.. We cleaned out his room 2 weeks ago and it was really hard for me. I was really close to him he was a great older brother he was over protective but i wish I would been more grateful he was. I wasnt the nice sister when his bipolar started getting bad. I was frusted as much as my parents were. But maybe i didnt understand the disorder. He would be find a couple of months then go back to not doing so good. my mom keeps saying he's in a better place and no sufforing from this disporder. but i just cant shake it thats he is gone. He was the only one that really understood my depression and what i went though or was going though we were 10yr apart we were clothes then grew apart then grew together. Iam wondering how do i hangle this... I dont have one really to talk to ab about it, its hard to talk to to my family because i am not as close with them as i was with my brothe. My sister is married 2 kids and a busy person. my older brother has his own business and is doing good but i dont want to bother him and if i do talk to him i feel like i am annoying him or he is judging me. no one really gets that my family is the most in port thing to me. i love my family they mean everything there just not the easiest people to sit down and talk to.AHHH i am so stress and lonely i dont know what to do. All the crap I have been through i usuall go to my brother so i dont hold it in. b ut now he not here its like there no were to spill all the woes and stress of life. I mean i am a college student full-time and and a single mother of one trying to keep afloat in life. living check to check its just so much then my brother dying really hit me. but hasnt shaked me yet.
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