You do whatever you think might work for you--a counselor, support group, medication, crying, sleeping, even drinking and you take it one day at a time. It's normal to feel angry, sad, confused, exhausted, relieved, frightened all in the same day the first few months after you lose a loved one. There are issues with guilt too, especially if you have made healthcare decisions and watched someone decline slowly over a period of time. Give yourself permission to NOT be superwoman for at least six months, which means that you won't be responsible for making your son's birthday and the holidays "perfect." Your son has had and will have many other happy birthdays and Christmases. I think it's shitty that your boyfriend isn't supporting you right now, but perhaps when the trauma settles down he will be able to deal with things better. I know it's hard but you must remember at this time to try and take care of yourself as best you can--eating, sleeping normally, exercising, even pampering yourself with a bubble bath or pedicure. Stress and grief take a toll on the body and your energy is sapped right when you need it most. God be with you during your healing and let us know how you are doing.

My heart bleeds for you, Sweetie...

It's like nothing is going your way right now.

Maura45 has given all the advice I would post. She is right on about what she is telling you.

YOU are still in shock. Picking up the pieces takes so much time.

You are right to concentrate on your son's birthday. He is the positive aspect in your life that has remained constant.

The boyfriend might return after he has time to think about how this isn't about HIM... (If he has that capacity... and if not, he isn't good for you.)

You will have trouble sleeping, you will be shaky, and I guarantee you that you will cry... BUT - those are physiological reactions to your psychological trauma.

It will resolve in time. Like Maura said... do what you have to do... Meds, counseling, whatever...

I wish you so much during this holiday season...

I hope for your peace of mind as quickly as it can be granted.

Jo :)

Sorry for your loss, especially so close to the holidays. I am glad that youa re at least trying to find a support group. This years' holidays may be a "wash" for lall of you. It
s too soon to even think about trying to go overboard celebrating, and your 14 year old son may know that. (He may not want to celebrate either). All I can say is that grief is a long rocky road, and you can only expect to survive together, one day at a time. HUggs, Rainbow

Thank you for your kind and supportive words, they are just what I need to hear right now. I'm shaking this morning but don't want to take medication. I think it is the body's way of reacting to a trauma. If you medicate the cycle, then it will delay the resolution.

It is snowing today, and my eldest daughter is driving my younger daughter to the airport, so she can return to college. I think I'll take my son shopping for his birthday present today.

I will take that bubble bath and perhaps a glass of wine later tonight.

You are a very wise woman, and must have been through a similar trauma. I'm very thankful for your response. I have not heard from my honey and will not call him. I know his wounds are still healing from the loss of his wife.

I want to thank you for your sympathetic response. I will try to do as you said.

Thank you for your kind and supportive words, they are just what I need to hear right now. I'm shaking this morning but don't want to take medication. I think it is the body's way of reacting to a trauma. If you medicate the cycle, then it will delay the resolution.

It is snowing today, and my eldest daughter is driving my younger daughter to the airport, so she can return to college. I think I'll take my son shopping for his birthday present today.

I will take that bubble bath and perhaps a glass of wine later tonight.

You are a very wise woman, and must have been through a similar trauma. I'm very thankful for your response. I have not heard from my honey and will not call him. I know his wounds are still healing from the loss of his wife.

I want to thank you for your sympathetic response. I will try to do as you said.