Not sure what to say,I vist my Grandsons grave at least once a week,sometimes I just fall to my knees and cry.Then I remmember that Shawn would not want me to be so sad.Because Shawns death was close to Memorial weekend my daughter was able to have his stone at his grave only one week after his death.It does hurt to see his name on the stone.All I know is that to go to your loved ones grave has been something that you have done in the past,so do not be afraid.In time the stone will be a comfort to you.Lots of love to you SC

Hey Trish,
That has happened to me at times. It sometimes feels like it was all a bad dream or something. It isn't easy dealing with the situation all alone. I would invite someone to go with you and I think that would help.
Grief hits in waves, it comes and goes. Just when you think youre doing ok ... bam a wave comes when youre not really expecting it. Those are the days you need your grieving buddies to talk and vent to. Expressing what you are feeling is the natural way to heal. On those hard days I pray for strength, comfort and peace, and that will be my prayer for you today...

Prayers and hugs,

Tim (Jenae's Dad)
http://jenae.gallegos.home.att.net

Seeing the name on the stone, is very hard. At one moment when we see it we are like this it, it is really is true. It sounds us into mix emotions of memories and life answers. What really helped me is writing. I wrote and wrote until words could not come out any more till the tears stopped coming. Oh yes the feelings never do end. No matter how much time has passed it just changes. Try and do something nice for yourself today. In memory of the love one. It may relax those feelings of anxiety. Hugs

Hi Trish. I waited a long time to go the graveside after the burial. The marker was there. I was ashamed of myself for not having gone sooner and taken flowers. You are not being silly. It's very sweet, actually. And you have given me inspiration to take something as well.

it has been over 20 years since both my parents died, they chose California, facing the sea, instead of Colorado. reading your posting brought me back to the trip i made, taking flowers. when i put the wild flowers in the little holder, a lady said, she came weekly and noticed no one had left flowers for them, so she began to place them in both. it was so caring, and special, and i realized we can be one. the feelings of loss were deeply high, but a sense of peace flowed over me, and i realized i care them in my heart each and every day. the headstone's can be lovely, and for many a safe place to share the memories and emotions, for me, i was placed in a situation to find another way. my husband died a year and a half ago. i had and still have anger over his life choices and their effect on my children and myself, so my son has his ashes and in someway, are bringing him to some place he needs to process it all..no easy answers for sure, but i just wanted to tell you she lives within you and has touched me through your posting. be gentle with yourself, for there are many who, as much as they want to, sometimes aren't. i was just going to post this and i thought came to me, don't know if i will help, be maybe you can take a special picture with you when you visit and share that moment of joy while there. namaste' pj