I lost my, well I'm not sure what to call him, we had split up by the time his cancer had gotten really bad, but at one point we were engaged, and I beleive we would have gotten back together, so I call him my husband. He is also the father of my 2 youngest children. 4 years into our relationship and 2 children later, he was diagnosed with a cancer that they tried to treat for 1 year, when he got a second opinion and it turns out it was squamous cell carcinoma. By they time they realized what he had, it was too late. He died this April 28th, 2007. My children and I were there with him when he died. That is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I still cry all the time. I feel guilty like I added to much stress to his life which shortened it. The kids are having a hard time with it. Especially our 6 year old son (which by the way, turned 6, 2 months after he passed away, lost his 1st tooth, 1 month after he passed away) is not dealing with it well at all. He is always crying and screaming for his daddy. He has even gone as far as saying he wished he was dead so he could be with daddy. That is so hard for me to hear. Anyway, his birthday would have been tuesday...another hard day for me. I cried off and on all day. It seems to get harder, not easier every day.
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