Stuffing your grief is not going to help you heal. Comfort the girls but let your dad know you are doing what you have to do right now. I hope everything settles down for you some. Please take care of yourself.

No you won't leave this world because you mentioned one thing that appears to mean the world to you today...your girls....you're not losing it you are just trying to find the common ground and new way of living without your loved one.....you should talk to your girls and let them know...yes, I miss daddy and mommy get's sad sometimes too but I am here for you......do things with them that's inexpensive....get some ice cream and eat ice cream cones....color...have a dance contest at home...think of little things that bring joy..bring the joy back to your life...as far as your father...he is going through his emotions as well...but tell him I am strong and I am going to get through this and yes I do need a cry here or there but you are in control and you are going to be ok...period....things happen and seems soooo unfair but these are the cards that each and every one of us has to deal with and we can either sink or swim....I chose and am choosing to swim as fast as I can no matter how "difficult" it seems to be at times.

I just typed these words in another post reply. Ironically, they were meant for you. As a Mom, don't dare think of your not living ! Think of your children and these words:

Mothers are like the lanterns in a lighthouse. When they go out, we have to steer our boats slowly and more cautiously until we get to shore.

How will your children steer their way through life - without their guiding light - YOU, their Mom.

Sending you huggs, thoughts and prayers. Rainbow

Your correct, most of us are angry and want to scream.You are sharing your feeling in a safe environment...we all feel your pain. Being angry is part of the grieving process. In fact, I like being angry for a few mins. my grief is focused. Better than falling apart, crying and being frustrated.

I am so sorry for your loss. You are human. As a human, you have the right to cry. I certainly understand the need to protect your children and that is important and hard at the same time. When we lost my youngest son, and my son's twin brother, one day he was laying in my bed. He was so sad. I was terribly sad, but I decided to try and force back my emotions on his account. I still remember to this day what I told him. I curled up in the bed beside him, and told him that I knew he was very sad, and there was no way I or anyone else could replace his brother and all they shared, but I would try my best to not only be his mother, but his friend. It's hard to know what to say to someone when they lose not only a family member, such as a twin brother, but also a best friend. I don't think you'll leave this world, because you sound very committed to your girls. But, this is going to be hard. I hope that you'll consider counseling if it gets to tough for you and counseling for the children as well, if the need be. I had to do that, and it helped some. I wish you the best of luck and hope as someone else said that you'll take care of yourself.

Girl you be sad, you cry out! Yes your girls are hurting, They are so important, However you need to heal a bit, so explain that your crying is diffrent from dads. Ask your father to take the girls out for a day here and there, so you can cry w/out them there, so they don't see it at times..Your not alone, I know you feel you are but your not and I bet your family would understand. see what the school can offer as far as counseling for girls. Take care I have you on my mind..

Check out site " Families and friends affected by suicide". This may also be helpful.