Does it hurt worse because you told your mother it was OK to leave? She had been failing for 2 years with confusion, inability to move around, depression, and poor appetite. She was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia in Nov 2006. Five weeks before she died she was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia for a week, then went to a nursing home for 2 weeks, and finally to a hospice house for 2 weeks (exactly to the day). She just kept going downhill. I stayed overnight with her at hospice every other night. I had left there Friday morning but something told me to go back that night and to call my siblings. We were all there, holding her hand and watching her slip away. I kissed her, stroked her hair, told her I loved her, it was OK to leave and I would take care of Daddy. Two minutes later she took her last breath. Is that why it hurts so much, because I told her it was OK to leave? I'm 55 years old and it hurts like I was much younger. I cry every day. The day after she died, my African Violet bloomed and I took that as a sign.
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