When my dad died i freaked out... i was hysterical for the first couple of days...then i was like a zombie...then i was so angry twords everyone. My family was nice for the first 2 days. Me and him were the closest out of anyone in my family and they understood that it went from me being around him everyday for the majority of the day... to having to accept that i'll never see him or talk to him again. After the funeral though... it went back to only hearing from my brothers when they wanted something... and my mom and i arguing constantly. My family hadn't been a family since i was 11 yrs old...for 8 years and then those few days after he died had me thinking that was what a real family acted like and i guess i assumed it was going to stay like that. I got proved way wrong and now every attempt i make to hang out with the brother i felt closer to ends with him yelling at me and telling me how i disappoint everyone. and my mom and i can't have a conversation for more than 5 minutes because she says things that make me feel like shit but shes always said those things to me... it just never hurt the way it does now. I need someone that understands what im saying to help me... i need to know im not losing my mind because thats what it feels like. I need to hear peoples stories that relate to what im going through. I need to know people care and i need to know theres hope.
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