Bereavement Support Group
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Has anyone or is anyone experiencing a time when they realise they have absolutely got to change around or that will be IT ! These last nearly four years since my husband died, has been such hard work - griefwork and actual work,looking after mum who of course has also looked after me but now my business has been handed over I am looking at myself anew. And what do I find?
Someone who is seriously overweight, being nagged by the doc for bp and diabetes problems or I will have a stroke! I need to REST according to her, so too much is not on the cards. Havnt got any new clothes for ages, live in the same thing - cant fit into many clothes anyway...- have lost touch with practically all my friends, other than quick emails, belong to nothing and dont seem to want to as am really tired at the present time....need to exercise more, have dropped all cultural activities and going out for lovely things, no social life other than family and the occasional meal out with a friend. When my husband was alive we lived in a whirl of activity and fun.
House in a terrible mess, in the middle of re-furbishment for when mum comes in here, but needs refurbishing anyway, so HOUSE needs a makeover. Trying to understand electrics and everything about house ownership and legal things and goodness knows WHAT!
Still working but disorganised with this, well, I know ADD people are nearly always disorganised but there is a limit.
How do I decide what to do first? I did have my hair cut the other day (having done it myself for years) prompted by my granddaughter who says I need a makeover BADLY!........she keeps looking at me with a serious look, then looking at an old photo where indeed I DID look much better...lol
I am listening to more music.......but WHERE do I start with everything I have to do ... & to even look half reasonable again before I descend into incapacitated old age - even mum looks better than me! If I had her figure I would be greatly pleased..lol
If anyone knows of a better site could they let me know - if not - any ideas please - and have any of you/are any of you in the same position. I have GOT the getupandgo a little bit now but have no way of knowing how to start. *sigh*............its not just weight loss, it is everything - in fact, really, HOW do I get my life back? or A life back, I suppose, as it is obviously going to be a very different one to when my husband was alive.
Someone who is seriously overweight, being nagged by the doc for bp and diabetes problems or I will have a stroke! I need to REST according to her, so too much is not on the cards. Havnt got any new clothes for ages, live in the same thing - cant fit into many clothes anyway...- have lost touch with practically all my friends, other than quick emails, belong to nothing and dont seem to want to as am really tired at the present time....need to exercise more, have dropped all cultural activities and going out for lovely things, no social life other than family and the occasional meal out with a friend. When my husband was alive we lived in a whirl of activity and fun.
House in a terrible mess, in the middle of re-furbishment for when mum comes in here, but needs refurbishing anyway, so HOUSE needs a makeover. Trying to understand electrics and everything about house ownership and legal things and goodness knows WHAT!
Still working but disorganised with this, well, I know ADD people are nearly always disorganised but there is a limit.
How do I decide what to do first? I did have my hair cut the other day (having done it myself for years) prompted by my granddaughter who says I need a makeover BADLY!........she keeps looking at me with a serious look, then looking at an old photo where indeed I DID look much better...lol
I am listening to more music.......but WHERE do I start with everything I have to do ... & to even look half reasonable again before I descend into incapacitated old age - even mum looks better than me! If I had her figure I would be greatly pleased..lol
If anyone knows of a better site could they let me know - if not - any ideas please - and have any of you/are any of you in the same position. I have GOT the getupandgo a little bit now but have no way of knowing how to start. *sigh*............its not just weight loss, it is everything - in fact, really, HOW do I get my life back? or A life back, I suppose, as it is obviously going to be a very different one to when my husband was alive.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
When we start to come back to life, it is a new life. We re-create what we had. I am in the same boat in every aspect that you said. I have gained weight, and have exercise equiptment but have to force myself to use it. I used to keep a food journal to keep track of calories I took in, and it worked great, but I stopped. I had not bought any clothes in a long time, and am trying to change, so I went to the thrify store last week, and bought about 7 new outfits, (mix and match items), for about 20.00. I had not had a hair cut in well over a year, so last night I had my husband give me a trim. I have started meditation and relaxation in the afternoon, and it seems to help my stress level some. As far as the house is concerned, I finally decided to "choose one room to work on" and clean it top to bottom. If the room is really cluttered, I use a method I read about once. You get three medium boxes. You label them "pu away", "give away" and "throw away." First your purge the room, then you clean it. Re-arrange the furniture. Get a plant to put in it, for the feeling of new life. Paint a room or an accent wall a color you love.
On yourself, you got the hair cut, how about treating yourself to a new outfit or two. (Nothing major at first). How about some make up? I hadn't used it in years, but am now finding it fun to put on so I look a little less sick and sad.
We get so wrapped up in taking care of others, that we deny ourselves the care tht we need and deserve.
I'm not saying we should spend all day in the bathroom, but don't we deserve pampering too?
Start small. Pick one thing to change, and when you are done, go on to another. If it helps, get a small journal and set some goals. Break those goals down into steps. Set dates for the goals, giving yourself plenty of time to do the steps toward that goal. Then, reward yourself for completeing it and move on to another.
Sorry this is so long. I hoe it helps. Rainbow
I wish I had something to add. My beloved died 5-1/2 years ago and I am just starting to deal with his death. I tried for so long to pretend he wasn't dead.
*hugs & prayers*