My mother just passed away yesterday. I have always been really close to my mother, and her death has come as a complete shock. She had been ill recently, but her health had been greatly improving. The yesterday she suddenly just dropped and was dead within seconds from a pulmonary embolism. I feel like I cannot handle this. I am not ready, I am still so young. I never knew that I could feel the kind of pain that I'm feeling right now. I have never hurt so badly before every second of my existence without her is excruciating. I don't know what to do I don't want to keep on living without her! I need my mommy back and I just keep feeling like there was something I should have done, something I could have done or that there is still some hope and I could still save her. She hasn't been cremated yet and I just want to be able to hug her again. I need to hear my mommy's voice one last time I normally called her at least twice a week but usually more, except the week before she died I hadn't talked to her in a week. I can't stand that thought I just want to call my mommy and talk to her! I need her to tell me she loves me again even if it is just one last time. I am absolutely miserable and I just can't see this ever getting any better. I feel like I will never stop crying I will never be happy again. I just needed to put that out there. I feel like I need to talk to people who have done this and come out the other side. I just want this agony to go away!
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