Hi, I have posted a couple times here, I really need to get some of this stuff off of my chest. It was 1 year this August 1st my husband died suddenly of a massive heart attack. His name was Harry, when we were together the past year, he had become very distant to me, unresponsive when I tried speaking to him, avoiding eye contact, so I had given up & quit trying to talk to him, we both had a wall between us, I felt very depressed & like I was going crazy so I left my home to him on April 20, 2008. We remained casual friends afterwards as we were always civil to each other no matter what. This has been very hard for me to deal with, the quilt, sadness, anger of how things were when he passed away. He wouldn't talk to me, at all, he talked lots to everyone else but me. I did spend the last day he lived with him & my sister shopping & at his place, he talked to my sister non-stop all day as if I didn't exist, I was very hurt & angry, he walked us to my place & was found dead in front of his building shortly afterwards, I actually didn't find out till 3 days later because I was so upset with him. I then found out too, he was spending alot of time talking to another lady where he lived, & she has avoided me like the plague. We did have wonderful times together of closeness previously. I still cry daily, I have been trying to let go of this overwhelming pain, quilt, anger. I have been trying to picture just perfect love, & letting go of all this pain. Maybe there is a lesson in it for me, to be a more loving, forgiving person no matter what, because we never know when it will be our last time here. rosyblue.
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