I just lost my mother on March 30th and I feel like I am not even here. I have just returned to work and seem to walk around in a fog all the time. I have taken time away from school and am so behind, but I cant seem to sit down and try to catch up because my mind wanders to all my memories of her and her funeral. I cant seem to express any emotions around my friends and I just feel so lost and confused. I have started keeping a journal to my mother, which helps alot with reflecting on my memories with her. I had not seen her in at least a month and feel immense guilt because we lived in the same town and I felt that I had more important things to do. We had not gotten along well in years and I feel so much guilt about all of my arguments with her and i wish I had simply loved her instead. I hope you all appreciate every little conversation or moment spent with your parents, no matter how insignificant they may seem at the time.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...