My dad died on father's day.I am still going to his grave and talking to him almost everyday.This can't be normal, is it ? I took care of him everyday for a year, I just don't feel like doing or being anywhere but still with my daddy ,now I take care of him in different way, I make sure his grave is nice.I don't know how to stop taking care of him.-Now my cousin, childhood playmate just passed away, and the service, same people will be there.This is going to bring all this pain to the surface, I feel much too weak to endure this, but I have to be there for the same people who where there for me when dad passed.This pain is so so so deep it scares me.I fear I will fall apart in front of others and I don't want them to see that as I have not really wept hard yet.I need to but still holding it in, I feel if I let it out I will die too of an exploded, broken heart or I will never stop crying.I am a mess. I think I am having a break down or about too.Help !
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