My grandmother just passed away. My family coped for so long with her illness. She knew it was coming and talked about it with each of us in private. She told me to take care of my mom and I have. But now she's coping so well with it. And I can't stop crying. I can't sleep or eat, I've never experienced this much pain. I was so used to getting up every day with a planned out day of what needed to be done. I would do whatever I needed to and didn't think about it ever stopping. I didn't imagine my life ever being any other way. I thought I would always take care of my grandmother and she would never leave me. And now that she has I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how to grieve her and move on with my life. Everyone thinks I should start being okay now, but its only getting harder. I promised my grandmother that I would be strong for my family. And now I can't even drink coffee because she always did and it makes me cry. I feel so alone, because she's who always helped me get back up and try again. Now, I'm a basket case! I can't focus on anything. Dream about that night she died when I sleep and wake up crying. I don't know what is okay here. I don't know how to get all these emotions out of me and let them go. They just keep coming back. Any advice would really help me. Thanks.
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