Bereavement Support Group

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I can't open up...

deleted_user
deleted_user
Does anyone else have a very hard time opening up? I can't talk to loved ones/close friends at all about what I'm feeling after losing my mom in June. I feel like I need to be strong, that no one would really know what to say, and I just don't feel comfortable overall stating my feelings to people who are close to me. I can open up about everything else! Just not this. No one knows how much I'm hurting inside, no one knows what I'm feeling, simply because I don't feel ok talking about it. I can talk to someone who is not close to me, which is why I finally made an appointment to talk to a counselor on the 1st, and my boyfriend asked why I had an appointment with a counselor, if I was doing ok, I said "yes I'm fine", just like I always say. Is this strange? Shouldn't I be alright talking to my close friends? Isn't that what they're there for? I find it easier to sit and talk in front of a mirror about what I'm feeling than to actually pick up a phone and talk to a friend. What is with me?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am very sorry about the loss of your mother.
I used to have a hard time opening up as a child. I don't anymore. Start off slow with someone you trust.
If you can't do it in person, try e-mail at first.
It is important to your healing to be able to talk and express your feelings. It is good for your family and friends to know how you are doing so that they can understand what you are feeling and dealing with. As you probably know, bottling our emotions is unhealthy, so be careful.

Prayers,

Tim
deleted_user
deleted_user
I lost my MIL in June, adn couldn't stop talking about it. I think my family gets tired of going over the same pain all the time. My husband is like you. He hasn't opened up, cried, or grieved openly in any way.
Maybe you could E-mail someone or write a letter to family members, as though you were talking to yourself in the mirror. Do you journal? Tha can be very healing, I've done it for years.
Maybe after you see the counsellor you will be more able to talk to others. He/she could offer suggestions. Hugggs, Rainbow
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know exactly how you feel. I think I have to be strong especially with family members. I've always been the strong one in the family and my family even tells me that so then you feel like you have to live up to it or something. Thank God for this sight. You can express your feelings and no one thinks you've lost it, if you know what I mean. I talk to my family a little about my feelings but not much but you can't keep it inside either. I have met some wonderful people here and you will too. I'm very sorry you lost your mom. I lost my mom in Aug 07. I know how much you miss her. I'm here if you ever want to talk. Debbie
deleted_user
deleted_user
Nothing is "with" you--we all grieve in different ways. Maybe you are lucky that you would rather talk to a professional than your family or friends. I know I drove my family and friends CRAZY talking incessantly about my mother's death!!! I finally went to a counselor because they were all tired of listening to me. One thing a professional can do that your friends and family can't is help you through the stages and give you practical exercises to help you through the stages of grief. I applaud your efforts to deal with this clinically, nothing wrong with that, where most of us end up anyway. My counselor helped me more in one session than my friends could listening to me rant and rave for months. Good move.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you - I guess it is true that we all grieve in different ways. I sometimes wonder why it is that I can't talk to them. I won't cry in front of them - but I have no problem crying and screaming and all of that when I am alone. I do hope this counselor can give me ways to get my life in order...
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