Oh, Sweetie... you are suffering the same thing that all of us do. It's part of grieving. I remember the first time I couldn't remember what Beth's voice sounded like. It nearly drove me insane. I thought I was abandoning her memory... and that she would know... and hate me for it.

BUT - the memory of her voice returned. Along with other memories.

After time, the memories become sweeter and less painful.

The love of your life is still with you. You will carry him in your heart and mind for as long as you survive.

He would NEVER removed himself from you. If he had the ability to do such a thing - I'm sure he would not have the desire.

I would never allow myself to dream about Beth. When she would pop into my dreams, I would remind her that she was dead and she would disappear.

I assume it is my mind's way of trying to protect me from missing her when I wake up.

Your mind and memories will play tricks on you.

The passage of time helps.

I am sending you positive energy and hope the passing days will bring you peace.

Jo :)

This might be a different take, but here goes: Are you familiar with the poem Footprints? "...I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life, there is only one set
of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed
you most you would leave me." The Lord replied,
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it
was then that I Carried You."
Perhaps instead of making his presence seem so known to you, he is helping to carry you through right now. You aren't alone, he is still with you. :) I think when a little time has passed and you aren't trying to hard to focus on it, it will all come back.

I am so so sorry for your loss first of all. Secondly, I am in the same boat you are right now. It's almost 3 months since I've lost my husband and I have been asking for answers and signs that I'm not getting. It's been making me wonder if he is even still with me. But through other people that have gone through grieving, I learn that it does come back. They always say that the spirits can't come through to us if we are so built up with sadness and anger, etc. In due time you will hear his voice again and remember so many things that you can't right now.
My heart goes out to you.

sometimes I do think wanting something so much blocks us - relaxing allows our feelings and our loved ones to be near and us to feel they are near. He is with you still and you will feel him with you again. My husband, now nearly four years since I lost him - sometimes I dont feel him there at all and I feel he is allowing me to walk upright on my own, but then, he is there with me again another time. Take care...C X

I'm feeling the same kind of emptiness right now, 11 months after my beloved brother passed, and I don't know what to do about it, except come here and share so I don't feel empty and lonely anymore. We're here for you.

It will return to you again. You are probably trying too hard in your grief to be able to feel and hear him. Please try not to panic, you'll only wear yourself out, and be sick, and that is no good either. Hold him in your heart, he's there. Rainbow

He will always be with you. Breath and try not to panic about it. You will be able to hear him again once your mind is clear.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, it has been 7 months for me since Bob passed away. I have never felt such loneliness or emptiness. I hate night time because every night I have to go to bed alone, I hate the morning because I wake up alone, and the rest of the day is just so empty. I can't see his face, hear his voice, feel his presence, nothing. Why did he leave me? He promised me he would never leave me. Why does God send someone into our lives to bring us such joy and happiness, then take it away again so quickly? Give it time everyone says, how long do I have to feel this way? See, you're not alone in your grief...God Bless you.

I thought when Rob died that when I went to the actual site where he had his accident I would feel him strongly. He knew I believed in dead people being able to make their presence known. While standing in the woods with his blood still fresh around me I felt nothing. I kept thinking maybe he would come "around" later and he didn't. It finally really struck me that he is gone... totally! He had other things that he needed to do - that is why he left so young anyway. His spirit lives within me and his brothers. He will always be alive in that way. Sometimes when someone we love dies they have other much greater purposes to focus on but that does not mean they have totally left us or dont' know what we are going through. Now - 2 1/2 years later - I am thankful that Rob does not "contact" us. That means that he has truly gone where he was supposed to go and is not still "here" in a world so filled with pain. He has to be happy and in such peace. I can't wait to be there with him someday. I am so sorry for your loss and know it is hard. I doubt this helped much but just hang in there the best you can. Hugs!

I think you have to trust more, have faith. We don't see love or peace or joy, but we know it exists, just as his spirit does. It's hard, I know, but his love is right there in your heart.