I lost my partner of (almost) 10 year on 12/5 suddenly due to advanced acute leukemia. He was diagnosed on 12/1 and died 5 days later. I was in upstate NY and made it to Texas on 12/2 and stayed by his side during his brief illness and was with him and his family when he passed. ICU let 30 of us in the area during his passing. I am now back home, we had a funeral and the burial in Texas and we had a memorial service in upstate. Chistmas and NYE is over. I made it through with lots of tears, hugs, and support. The hurt is so real, I cannot sleep, I have no motivation (I am pushing myself hard), I dont want to talk to anyone or get out of the house. I spent the whold day 1/1/08 just lying in bed watching TV. I could hear him telling "get you butt out of bed and pick up the house". Today I showered and got out of the house for a while. But when I got home the tears started again. I am so sad and lonely. All I want to do is cry.
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