I am freaking out. I do not seem to be handling the loss of my 27 yr. old son the way one would expect. I guess I am waiting for it to hit me??, I don't know. My husband and my son are inconsolable, and yet I seem fine, I am fine. What the hell???, Why is this happening?, My son was not only my first born(when I was 16), but he was my bestfriend. I kind of feel like he is away, I am kind of mad at him for not calling yesterday, and yet I went to his grave(I hate using those words)....yesterday. He left behind a wife and 4 kids which we have seen a lot of recently. What is wrong with me? I really don't believe this, when my Mom died I was a complete mess....so why not now?, I feel so darn guilty.
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