I think I need to talk to people that have been in this situation. I am 27 years old and the love of my life just died on Dec 10,2008 of an accidental overdose of methadone and morphine. To give some background I will tell a few things, We were having alot of problems because of his drug use so I moved out and told him I would move back in if he could get it together and a month later he lost his job due to an ongoing illness and by that night he was gone. I cant subside the feelings that this is all my fault and if i would have been there this wouldnt have happened, I kept im safe for such a long time he was used to it and now there is nothing we can do about that. Is it normal to wonder what the last thought of that person are or why this happened i do believe in god but when things like this happen it makes you question your faith, alot! It still doesnt feel real that he is dead when i look at his photo i just breakdown and i am worried because its getting worse everyday and Im starting to get scared about everything. I just have so many regrets about the way i treated him sometimes, we had ups and downs but everyone does, I just wish i wouldnt have been do harsh and moved out and he would still be alive because i never would have let this happen and I know he was depressed and lonely but this was no wayto deal with it, I still feel like everyday could be my last because the pain is so massive that I feel like im suffocating in my own mind and that scares me the most because there are so many spiritual realms that if I did die how do I know that we will be reunited, Im sorry to bring ne one down im just really confused about all this stuff thanks for listening.
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