Hi everyone, I am new here and hoping this will help me out. I am 22 and lost my grandfather Pops on Easter. It hit me hard then but all of a sudden tonight I just looked up and saw his picture on my wall and all the emotions came back twice as hard. Part of me feels I never really dealt with any of it because I have had so much going on. I am a full time college student and work a full time job at a local theme park supervising the front gate area. Just this week school has ended for break and the park is now closed for the season so I have had time to catch up on everything and let my life settle for a little bit. Pops had over come so much that I always felt he would never die and I would have him forever. I know this sounds crazy but when the doctors tell you that he will never walk again after a stroke and the man does walk again, you cant help but think he will get through anything. Pops lived in CA while I live in FL. For the past three years I always went out there to see him and my aunt who also lived out there. This is the time of year I would go out there to see him or the whole family would go out here on Christmas. Tonight I think was the first real night I just sat and cried. Cried hard and didnt care. It was the first night I didnt try to put it in the back of my head saying I will deal with it later. I dealt with it tonight. I am hoping that writing here will help me cope with his loss and come to peace with it. So I would like to say sorry right now if I seem to drag on or if I dont make any sense.
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