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how to stop crying all the time

my husband Bill died of colon cancer on Sept 12 and I miss him so much and I can't stop crying all the time.

Replies

dadsgirl1
dadsgirl1

You have experienced a great loss and 2 months is still not very long to expect you to stop grieving in your way. You will, as the days go by, have days where you cry less and then some days you get through without crying. We will never, ever be the same after our great losses, but as time progresses we are able to put one foot in front of the other a little easier each day.

I hope you begin to find peace with your loss. I hope you have family to help you get through and if you need to talk to your doctor about what she thinks.

Good luck to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Crying is very natural in the grief process. My Mom told me once that there wasn't a day that she did not think of her dad, and he had died 50 years ago. I looked at her and could not UNDERSTAND. Now, I do since my beloved Mom is gone. The sadness will ALWAYS BE THERE. Give yourself time to heal! (HUGS) Kristine
BSPUNKY
BSPUNKY

It's ok to cry when you want to. Hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user

Lost my son 6 months ago and I cry all the time too
((hugs))
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sorry for you loss of your husband I also lost my husband Oct 16th from cancer and I cry daily and can't picture my life without him. Everyone says it gets better I don't see how.
How are you doing now? I know it will not be good through the holidays.
Take care of yourself
Diane
Scott46
Scott46

My Mom died of colon cancer just over a year ago. I am so sorry about your dear husband. I recommend you look into grief counseling, either a group (check with hospices) or one-on-one, or both. As for the crying, do it. Just watch out for dehydration. Tears have a cleansing effect and they release endorphins. Cry, pound on a pillow, get it out. If you are crying at work and its causing problems, you can adapt. Think of him while you are at home and get the tears flowing. This is your way of dealing with the pain and you should not suppress it. This is part of the grief journey. All of us have walked or are walking that road. No two roads are exactly the same, but all of us can relate. The crying will diminish in time. But something else may take its place. Its a good idea to get some help from a group or counselor or both. Again I am so sorry about Bill. God bless. Scott
deleted_user
deleted_user

Cry all you want honey-the loss is still so fresh-my brother has been gone since July-I cry several times a day-sometimes the grief sneaks up on me-it could be a thought, a feeling,a memory-whatever-it hurts- there is no grief time limit-everybody is different-do what you need to do to get through-I am here if you need a friend!!! hugs to you!
konacutter
konacutter

I know how it feels, your emotions flood with the thought of those you lostm I am not sur if it does get better but just know your not alone..
vader
vader

my name is vader and I lost my boyfriend Brad on 5/22/09.He committed suicide and my grief is new.I still cry every day and it is natural to do this.Dont believe any of this mumbo jumbo about being postive...How can I be positive? Brad left me almost penniless and i f I did not have a xmas part time job for 3 weeks..I would have been homeless with my cats and posesssions.In january I am going a group about survivors of suicide.Till this day I will never know and I dot know why he did it.Brad was very unhappy since the beginning of this year.And you cant be unhappy all of the time without any consquences.Brad could do a great deal of things.He did the housework and he cooked.He made me great breakfasts..but Brad was like a great deal of seattle men.Dear...the men in the Pacific Northwest are the best looking men in the world.However....this roughness has produced a macho mentality and they for some reason are shy and they do not talk about their problems.I learned from the ex workers that Brad had been depressed for a year.So why didnt these macho men take him to a hospital? If he was given emergency treatment here..he would have gotten medication and a doctor.Brads depressions were due to the fact that he didnt like to work and he would rather stay home and play games on the computer and call all of these gamers.He also made maps on his computer and he was interested in gaming.But Brad did not want to work hard and that means going to college and working part time for a degree in this.If he had done this...things would have been different.If goals are reasonable they can be reached.Brad never cried and he was just so full of depression and in the end...he took his life.So cry and talk.Go to grieft councelising and then you will experience peace and you will have days where you can get through without the tears..but in the mean time...take it from vader...let them flow.Thanks for listening...vader and the cats.kramer and little tooey..meow!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Your loss is still new, don't be hard on yourself for crying. You have probably been the strong one for some time as you helped your husband through his illness. My guess is the tears of loss you are feeling have been dormant since you were told of his illness. Cut yourself some slack. I asked my older sister when she knows the grief is getting better (we lost two sisters) She said "It's when she/he isn't the first thing you think of in the AM when you wake up and the last thing you think of when you go to sleep" My youngest sister has been gone since Oct. 2008 and I'm still not there. Love is difficult to say goodbye to. I wish I had a suggestion - prayer helps and so does going to my counsselor. My dogs are great at giving me a distraction. But you cry if you want - it is your right to express your feelings in a very natural way.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Don't try to stop crying. Just cry. Let the tears flow. Cry well, so that it helps to heal your soul. Tears flow from sadness. You are experiencing incredible sadness. Allow that to occur in whatever manner provides the opportunity for a moment of healing. Let youself feel the sadness. Grant and allow yourself permission to just feel whatever comes over you. Don't try to control it. Just accept it. Those who love you will understand
MamasChild1
MamasChild1

And here I thought it was just me. I cry like a baby, more now than when my Mom died in 2007. Take the advice from so many who've replied. There's no time limit on grief - or tears - and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. My condolences.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I lost my husband to cancer in september .the crying and lonliness is unbearable at times. everyone say's it will get easier as time passes, and I have to make myself believe this is true , I hope for the sake of all who are hurting this is true, meanwhile try to take comfort in knowing you are not alone''many hugs go out to all of you.
vader
vader

my name is vader and you are grieving.Dont let anyone tell you that you cant cry.As the months go on...you will find you will be able to get thru the day without crying.I hope that you will be able to talk to someone about your loss and in time realize this..time does not heal all wounds...time does is makes me realize now lucky we were to have them and I realize this about brad.I miss him very much.It will be 8 months on the 22nd of January and this is my first January without him.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom died a year ago and it's still like it happened yesterday. My Mom died of pancreatic cancer, so I am assuming you were also dealing with the stress of the medical issues on top of your anticipitory grief. Everyone is different, but I find that the more I cry the more grief I release. There are so many emotions to deal with in addition to handling these emotions as everyone else seems to move on with their live's. For me the crying goes in cycles. I know right after she died I cried all the time. Then the "all the time" turned into moments of crying. She died on Christmas, so lately I have gone back to hours of crying. As a matter of fact, a few nights ago I cried for 3 hours straight. I didn't have any control over it and the more I tried to stop, the more I cried. My therapists says this is normal since grief tends to cycle. Here are a few things I have done to cease the crying in moments when I would sincerely like to stop.
1. Read and/or write 2. Dunk my head in cold water 3. scream in my pillow 4. lay on the grass outside and watch the clouds 5. meditate and/or pray 6. call my therapist or a friend/family if it keeps going for more than 2 hours.
Sorry this is so long, but I think people who are outside of grief do not appreciate that crying is a very healing tool and a much needed release. It's not a topic many people discuss. I guess you could say I am an advocate for shedding tears. I hope this helps you and anyone else who reads.
I wish you comfort and peace on this journey.