I never got to say goodbye before they died, issues with my sister who was put as the head of their trust, everything was her way or no way and while my parents were alive they really had no say with how she was handling everything, Mom had cancer and Dad had alzhimers. So..what did I do, I buried my head in the sand and pretended none of it was happening. Next thing I new Mom was gone (2008) and then Dad (2010). It wasn't intil last year (2012) that it really hit me that I was never going to see them again and I blew the chance to tell them how much I love them. I cry almost everyday, I talk to them but not sure they hear me, I ask God to take the pain away, but it's still here. Every morning when I wake up they are the first thing on my mind. When I happen to have some alone time that's when I let it out. On my way to work, on the way home and this morning my husband had to work so I have the house to myself and I am spending it feeling hopeless that I will never forgive myself for not being there for them when they needed me the most. I can't hardly handle the thought I will never see them again.
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