Bereavement Support Group
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Sometimes I feel extremely low and want to be alone. I lost my dad in march of this year, two days after my mums birthday and just one month after my friend committed suicide.
I can go days and be the happiest I have ever been, enjoying my life and such but then bang I suddenly get hit with a wave of sadness. I have 2 photos in my room of my dad and I sometimes talk to them when I feel sad. I miss him so much. I also paid for a memorial stone for him too so I could go and speak to him if I wanted to.
I feel sadness but sometimes I feel guilt. I feel guilt because I dont think of him everyday or go to his memorial stone every week to put up fresh flowers. I feel like I am failing him as a daughter because I am too involved in college to go to his memorial stone, or because its too cold to go.
I miss him the most when I think how he will never meet my husband (when I finally get married) or he wont be there to walk me down the isle or give my husband to be permission for my hand in marriage he wont be there to see me graduate from college or become a professional nail technician (my dad loved manicures) he wont be there to meet his future grandchildren etc. and it makes me really sad.
Stupid things like people talking about muscles, or lorry drivers, or just hearing certain music puts a big black cloud over me because my dad died of Motor Neurone Disease and he was a driver all his life. I am glad he is not suffering now though.
I just hope he knows I love him, and I hope one day he will realise I can become something that he can be proud of because I would hate for him to keep believing I am a failure.
I can go days and be the happiest I have ever been, enjoying my life and such but then bang I suddenly get hit with a wave of sadness. I have 2 photos in my room of my dad and I sometimes talk to them when I feel sad. I miss him so much. I also paid for a memorial stone for him too so I could go and speak to him if I wanted to.
I feel sadness but sometimes I feel guilt. I feel guilt because I dont think of him everyday or go to his memorial stone every week to put up fresh flowers. I feel like I am failing him as a daughter because I am too involved in college to go to his memorial stone, or because its too cold to go.
I miss him the most when I think how he will never meet my husband (when I finally get married) or he wont be there to walk me down the isle or give my husband to be permission for my hand in marriage he wont be there to see me graduate from college or become a professional nail technician (my dad loved manicures) he wont be there to meet his future grandchildren etc. and it makes me really sad.
Stupid things like people talking about muscles, or lorry drivers, or just hearing certain music puts a big black cloud over me because my dad died of Motor Neurone Disease and he was a driver all his life. I am glad he is not suffering now though.
I just hope he knows I love him, and I hope one day he will realise I can become something that he can be proud of because I would hate for him to keep believing I am a failure.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Don't feel guilty about not getting to his stone each week, you are doing what he wanted you to do..your living your life!!!!
Don't be so hard on yourself
(((hugs)))
You are the only one that can prove his words wrong...you only have to prove it to yourself, (((hugs)))
you will do it, and you will be proud of yourself...
I'm now having to put final arrangements together for my Dad, who's quite sick, 10 weeks after Mom passed. The mistakes I made with her funeral will haunt me the rest of my days while I'm constantly scolded with "I told you so's" by people who advised me better earlier on. They're right - but the hurt doesn't get any less - or the guilt - or whatever. I wish I had the answer to the same question.
Your Dad knows you loved/still love him. Be sure of that. And being reminded of him when you hear certain words or references - shows the emotional tie and caring that perhaps only you had to his situation.