Don't be sorry for the way you feel. We all can relate. The pain does seem endless and you get tired of feeling so low all of the time. All we can do is take each day as it comes. And try to take some joy in the good things that life has to offer. Although I know it is easier said then done. I try to list at least one thing I am grateful for everyday...sometimes it does help. I am here if you ever need someone to talk to..

You put one foot in front of the other and go a little farther each day...the pain may only lessen, but remember the good times and happy memories with mom & dad Don't apologize for ranting...been there done that...You gotta let it out!

You should never feel that you have to be sorry for your emotions. The pain may feel overwhelming, and somedays it may feel like getting out of bed is one of the hardest things you can do. Just remember, you have made it this far and you can make it even farther.
Remember the things that made you laugh, talk to people, or write. It all helps, even if it only takes away a little pressure. You can do this!

HUGS Rose. I totally understand what you mean by your Mom being your best friend. She was so much a part of my life I don't know how to go on without her. You are not alone. I still have my Dad, but it's just not the same. I love him too, but we did not share the same bond that my Mom and I shared. They say time heals, but it hasn't for me, it's only been 8 weeks for me, but other than feeling your feelings and sharing your parents memories and never forgetting the good times helps comfort me. I have siblings too and right now I just can't share my pain with them because they have their own grief and mine is different than theirs. We all grieve in a different way. Sometimes death brings us closer, sometimes it tears us apart. Other than finding your own outlet and feeling it is all I can offer. You've come to a great support network.

I also have lost my parents. My mom died dec. 2006. I too have 8 siblings but none were as close to mom and dad as i was. my folks were my best friends even though i,m married with three kids. my mom was my rock, all our lives it was as though we had a special emotional and spritual bond. her death hurts me to the point of some days i don't even want to go on. i don't have a quick fix answer for you. i keep mom and dads picture with me in the car and wherever i go so that when that awful feeling of lonliness and desperation hit i look at the smiling picture of them and it helps me. in my car i must look like an idiot because i find myself talking to mom as if she were in the seat next to me. i try to keep her close in my heart but unfortunately the pain is there.

Sorry for the negative reply, but I honestly don't know. . . I'm having the same problem as you. I just lost my lover to suicide 5 weeks ago, and not only can't I seem to make sense of it, but I also can't figure out howw to go on without her. I wish you lots of luck, and if you find a way, please let me know

Rose,

I don't know how we go on but we do because of one thing or another we continue to be here for our loved ones. I know I am still very numb but I just lost my wife 5 weeks ago. She was my LIFE too.

Rose, I have thought about another way. Write, write, write about all the good things about them. I have been writing in my journal on this site about all the good things about my wife and it seems to help a bit.