The Lord led me to this site a few days ago and while I am so thankful for it, I am really starting to feel quite sad. For some dumb reason I needed to find people (mothers) who were going through what I was. I knew I couldn't be the only one and if I was WHY. Now I read and feel so much pain. I would never want anyone to feel what I feel. How do you make sense of it. I know my God is a loving God but how could he let us feel all this anguish. I don't understand. I try to be a good person as I am sure you all do too. So now I am not asking WHY ME LORD? but WHY US?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...