My mom died of colon cancer three weeks ago and the end was truly terrible..she was awake almost to the end...screaming for my dad and I to help her the pain was so terrible ( nothing controlled it) I held the basin while she vomited blood and suctioned the blood away as she slowly drowned in her own blood..I am ashamed to say that I knelt at the bedside the last two hours of her life and begged God to end her suffering..I begged God to just take her so her pain would stop..I can not stop reliving it all and I cant sleep...How do I make this stop???
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...