My mother died on Sept.6th,2010. I never realized how close we were until this. I knew that before she had to go into the nursing facility last Dec. that we talked on the phone several times a day and every night around 8:30pm before she went to bed. Whenever we heard something during the day that we thought the other would be interested in or that we wanted to share we'd pick the phone up and call. Whenever I lived away from here we spoke several times a week. I moved here in 1998 and have "taken care of her needs" for the past 5 yrs. since she had mini-strokes and could no longer drive. I was there to take her to the grocery, doctor, and hair salon. I fixed her medicines into a container each week. It started with dementia and went on to Alzheimer's. When we had to place her into a nursing home because I can't lift anything beyond 10lb. I want at the nursing home which was 1/2 mile from my house almost everyday unless I was sick. I wasn't there on the day that she passed away, but was the day before. I have 2 brothers and we have separated since March and were no longer speaking. I have 2 sons in Florida, I live in Tennessee, who were able to be here for the services and I have a husband who is not sensitive to my needs as this time. How do I go on? Even before she passed I found myself wanting to pick up the phone and call her each time I heard something she'd be interested in but knew that I couldn't. At the end her Alzheimer's prevented me from talking to her and her understanding expect when I told her every time I left that I loved her and she told me the same. I don't know what to do now. I don't even want to go to the grocery to get food in the house or eat. How do I go on? Have anyone tried grief counseling? They have a support group here in Tennessee where I live. How do I go on living?
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