My fiance died two months ago do to an accidental death. He was fighting drug use and depression. He would have very bad mood swings. He would get sad or angry and threaten other people that he would take away his life. Ever since his grandfather and father died he didn't know how to deal. He would get up in the middle of the night crying. I tried getting him help but he didn't want me to. But I know he didn't want to die. He would tell me that the only reason that he didn't kill himself was because he didn't want to hurt me. He also said that I was the only person who really cared about him. We were going to start planning our first baby. He said that it would give him a reason to live for. A week after this happened he died in an accident! How do I deal now that I'm the one with nothing to live for? I loved him so much. He was the sweetest person I have and will ever meet. He just didn't have the love he needed as a child and was raised broken just like how I was. I wish I could of helped him though. But I didn't have enough love to give him. I miss him so much. Maybe I'm beating myself too much about this, it was an accident and there's nothing that can be done now. But, we both needed eachother. I wanted to be with him forever. Now I have no idea what is going to happen.
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