My fiance died two months ago do to an accidental death. He was fighting drug use and depression. He would have very bad mood swings. He would get sad or angry and threaten other people that he would take away his life. Ever since his grandfather and father died he didn't know how to deal. He would get up in the middle of the night crying. I tried getting him help but he didn't want me to. But I know he didn't want to die. He would tell me that the only reason that he didn't kill himself was because he didn't want to hurt me. He also said that I was the only person who really cared about him. We were going to start planning our first baby. He said that it would give him a reason to live for. A week after this happened he died in an accident! How do I deal now that I'm the one with nothing to live for? I loved him so much. He was the sweetest person I have and will ever meet. He just didn't have the love he needed as a child and was raised broken just like how I was. I wish I could of helped him though. But I didn't have enough love to give him. I miss him so much. Maybe I'm beating myself too much about this, it was an accident and there's nothing that can be done now. But, we both needed eachother. I wanted to be with him forever. Now I have no idea what is going to happen.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I've had a few accounts over the years. I would be having lots of nice connections and feel like its all working and then something would trigger some episode of crazy depresssion and id just stop everything. feel like im doing ok now and just needed to com back to ds. i missed you guys. you spirit and your strength helped me through some very rough times. i just want to let all of you know the...
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...