Bereavement Support Group

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Holidays kill me lately

deleted_user
deleted_user
It's very difficult for me to enjoy the holidays. I try to be positive and not ruin anyone elses joy but damn. It's a lonely and sad time for me usually. My birthday is Nov. 22nd, then thanksgiving, what would be my brother's birthday is Dec. 1st, then x-mas (no family)..How can I ever enjoy these times? I don't want to be sad but I can't help it. Just want to go to sleep until January. Everyone having get togethers with family and friends, enjoying special times, loving one another, all the shit on tv and around town reminding me nonstop of the holidays and to be merry and shit. I'm pretty tough usually and try to remember that I'm not alone in feeling this way and maybe someday, I will have more friends and family to share these times with. It just hurts and it's so hard to force myself to feel better. I tend to just want to shut the world out and not talk to anyone at all. I don't want to need anyone or to care so much. But the fact is I do. And it sucks!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand a little Christmas is a big deal around our house for family and the closer it gets the harder it is to think of going through it without my mom, i know my b-day after was really hard.

i was wondering if you would be able to maybe volunteer at a homeless shelter or a animal shelter sometimes helping others that are in need helps us.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know exactly what you mean. I have family but they have all changed or maybe I have. I have excluded my friends because they just don't understand. That shit I will always be here if you need me was nothing but shit. I have other kids and grandkids but I am still having a hard time with these holidays. I am like you I would like to just go to sleep until its over. Tring to be somebody your not is just to hard on top of everything else. If you find an answer please let me know.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Last year, I lost my mom 9 days before Christmas. For years I had a tough time dealing with the holidays due to the passing of my dad 8 days before Christmas. Last year, we went to my MIL's, because Christmas was a big deal for her. I had to pretend to be "into" it, and it hurt. This year, we will be without my MIL too, and everyone but me wants to just skip the whole thing. I normally would too, but it was such a big deal for her, and I think she would want us to carry on as though she were there. If she thought we were in pain over her passing, it would keep her from having her peace.
Being a Christian, and keeping in mind the real meaning of Christmas, I can not totally ignore it. God gave me great gifts in having these people in my life, and I have to return the gift by appreciating what I had. They were more of a blessing to me, than they are a loss.
I do understand how you feel, and though I felt the same way for years, I have now come to realize thta my life will go on, for how ever long I am allowed, and it would be a sin to waste it, and a dishonor to those I love who have passed.
I guess that I have finally come out of the major storm of grief, and am trying to re-build my life.
I hope this does not offend anyone, because tht is not my intention.

Huggs,
Rainbowmama
deleted_user
deleted_user
dont do anything you dont feel like doing. the only thing thats important is that you take care of yourself. be gentle with yourself. love, marianne joeys mom
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