It's very difficult for me to enjoy the holidays. I try to be positive and not ruin anyone elses joy but damn. It's a lonely and sad time for me usually. My birthday is Nov. 22nd, then thanksgiving, what would be my brother's birthday is Dec. 1st, then x-mas (no family)..How can I ever enjoy these times? I don't want to be sad but I can't help it. Just want to go to sleep until January. Everyone having get togethers with family and friends, enjoying special times, loving one another, all the shit on tv and around town reminding me nonstop of the holidays and to be merry and shit. I'm pretty tough usually and try to remember that I'm not alone in feeling this way and maybe someday, I will have more friends and family to share these times with. It just hurts and it's so hard to force myself to feel better. I tend to just want to shut the world out and not talk to anyone at all. I don't want to need anyone or to care so much. But the fact is I do. And it sucks!
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