This will be my 3rd Christmas without my first born daughter. She was still born when I was 33 weeks pregnant. We found out her heart had stopped and the long wait to deliver her (2 days) was excruitiating. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. Each holiday, I feel it gets more difficult instead of getting better. I have since had 2 beautiful children. A girl and a boy. they are 18 months apart.
My son looks a lot like my daughter that was stillborn. I dread holidays. I dread birthdays. I replay over in my mind what could have happened, what I could have done differently, but the thing is that it couldn't be prevented. It was a cord accident. Even if I knew, by the time I would have hopped in the car and began driving to the hospital, she would have been gone. Only way it could have been prevented is if they were monitoring me in the hospital and had an emergency csection. But the pregnancy was great. I had a lot of morning sickness throughout the entire pregnancy but otherwise, she was growing and striving. She was perfect. And now she isn't here.
This is going to be the 3rd Christmas...I makes me sick. I am finally seeing a therapist. Who is great. I'm on medication now. Of course I'm out of work now because I was injured at work so I'm off until at least 2/1/18. Plenty of time to sit and think about things. I need to keep busy.
Anyone else have a stillbirth?
For the Evil eyes of a true narcissist to morphe into kind and loving eyes that trick you very early on?i was so desperate for love then,i admit,and very vulnerable.Did he prey on this,do you think?It is about 15 years away from him,and i still,still,can see those Evil eyes.But,very early on,was i just stupid,clued out?As well,he told me very early on that he loved me,which kind of freaked me...
i can't get a doctor to diagnose me with bipolar. I know I am. They all say I'm just depressed but I know I am bipolar. I'm so tired of living with this way. I know what's wrong with me is more than depression. I need a mood stabilizer. I know I do :/ Any ideas ?