This will be my 3rd Christmas without my first born daughter. She was still born when I was 33 weeks pregnant. We found out her heart had stopped and the long wait to deliver her (2 days) was excruitiating. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. Each holiday, I feel it gets more difficult instead of getting better. I have since had 2 beautiful children. A girl and a boy. they are 18 months apart.
My son looks a lot like my daughter that was stillborn. I dread holidays. I dread birthdays. I replay over in my mind what could have happened, what I could have done differently, but the thing is that it couldn't be prevented. It was a cord accident. Even if I knew, by the time I would have hopped in the car and began driving to the hospital, she would have been gone. Only way it could have been prevented is if they were monitoring me in the hospital and had an emergency csection. But the pregnancy was great. I had a lot of morning sickness throughout the entire pregnancy but otherwise, she was growing and striving. She was perfect. And now she isn't here.
This is going to be the 3rd Christmas...I makes me sick. I am finally seeing a therapist. Who is great. I'm on medication now. Of course I'm out of work now because I was injured at work so I'm off until at least 2/1/18. Plenty of time to sit and think about things. I need to keep busy.
Anyone else have a stillbirth?
so I have this thing with people who stand too close to me in line. At subway today my dad was behind me and kept nudging me closer to the person in front of me. I told him to stop and that it was freaking me out. Like it was bad and he kept pushing me forward acting like it was funny. I’m going to talk to my mom about it and see if she can get through to him. I can’t work up the courage to...
my cpn has been going on for ages about compassion and learning compassion for ourselves and how to soothe. He gave me some print outs about it. Found them shoved down the back of the sofa just now lol. That sums up how i felt about doing it. However ive just saved the sheets and gone on the compassionate mind sites I can see now that he has used alot of it to work with me the last year or...