I am so upset. The tears wont stop and my stomach is feeling every wrench, as the pain of life is contracting its way out of me. So much disappointment and loss in one year. I cant think about life in the future if this is the present I now face. Its unbearable. I am wrenching with every yearning of the loss I feel. I am going to be sick. I held her as she died. Then after she died, I held another as she died. Then I held another as she died. Cancer! I hate the venomous name. Taken too early, taken too too soon. My grandmother, my mum and my best friend. I wake in the night calling on them to come back home. But 2007 took them all. Why whywhy. Please come back please come back. Please come back and make life the way it was. I cant keep on going. Where are you all? You loved me and I loved you. Nan you had a full life and I cared for you. My wonderful Mum you only made 54 years and we had a few weeks to prepare and my dearest flatmate and friend, who shared my home for 5 years, we didnt have any notice at all at 22 you hadnt even begun. Cancer pancreas, liver and brain Cancer got you all. WHY all of you, why 3 generations of very very special ladies, all gone at once. Why 2007? Why me? Why now? I am going to be sick it just too much!
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